Why We Do What We Do – part 3 of 3

Whoohoo..we made it!

This is the final installment of our three-part series that examines the reasons why we do what we do (which…if you think about it…is a pretty dang important thing to know)

To recap what we’ve covered so far…

We’ve introduced Six Human Needs Psychology (Part 1), went into some detail on what the 6 needs actually are (Part 2), and now we’re going to answer the question you’ve been wondering all along…“Why is this important?”

 

And here’s the answer…

 

If you know which needs you’re trying to satisfy through your current actions/thoughts/feelings,you can choose better ones
that will serve and empower you.

 

Let’s look at an example…say you’re a smoker. If you figure out you mainly like smoking because it gives you a sense of significance (you might laugh but smoking was seen as sophisticated and sexy back in the day), you can substitute out smoking for something else more empowering that meets that need of significance.

Ask yourself “What else makes me feel special, unique, or important?” and you’ll discover a better behavior.

BTW this is the reason why quitting something hardly ever works unless you replace it with something else – the need (in this example significance) is still there and still needs to be met somehow.

But what if instead you smoke because all your friends smoke too and you want to be part of the group? Now it’s connection that you’re really after and you can figure out other ways to feel connected.

Get it?
You have to know the reason before you can come up with a solution

 

Here’s another HUGE reason all this is important (especially for coaches like myself):
If you can find out what needs someone else values highly, you can understand them better, connect better, and help them much more.
For example…let’s  say your friend sleeps around promiscuously. You’ve lectured her but it doesn’t do anything but make her less willing to share. What do you do?

You try and understand why she does it.

Is she just a tramp? No. She’s trying to meet a need.

In fact, knowing what you know about Six Human Needs Psychology, I’m sure you can guess which one(s)…

Connection probably right? She’s starving for attention and has figured out that sex is one way to get it.It’s not Love but it’s something and that’s better than nothing.

She definitely gets Uncertainty/Variety met too by being with different guys.

Significance because she probably has a bunch of guys calling her.

Get what I’m saying?

Now knowing what she’s really after, you can help her find better, less destructive ways to meet those needs.

And at the very least, even if you’re not trying to “help” her, just understanding her better will allow you two connect on a better level.

 

And that’s just one example… 

 

This whole concept applies to everything including business negotiations, nosy neighbors, people that overeat, and nutty sports fans.

The only thing is YOU NEED TO USE IT.

It’s going to take practice until you get comfortable, but when you learn to master and implement this technology, you’ll have an inside track to understanding why we ALL do what we do…and that my friend is VERY powerful.

As always I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts below! 

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